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Come scegliere gli occhiali della vita.

Completa il testo con le parole mancanti.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUgKf5iZs1k&ab_channel=RichardHTT

Salve a tutti e benvenuti in questo nuovo tell me about. Oggi parliamo degli occhiali, eh già, per alcuni una maledizione che li rende repellenti, per altri uno strumento indispensabile per anticipare gli spostamenti dei propri vecchi compagni di scuola ed evitarli con successo; per altri ancora un vero e proprio strumento alla moda per rimorchiare e allo stesso tempo vedere cosa si sta rimorchiando.

 

Io sinceramente non ricordo esattamente a che età ho iniziato a portare gli occhiali, ma ricordo con estrema precisione il dramma che ho dovuto affrontare il giorno in cui sono andato a comprarli, per decidermi a scegliere la montatura giusta. Sembra una stupidaggine ma in realtà è una cosa molto seria. Tutta la vita il mondo ti prepara al fatto che un giorno dovrai scegliere una scuola da frequentare, un percorso di lavoro, una donna da sposare, una donna da amare, facendo in modo che queste sue donne non si incontrino mai. Ma nessuno, nessuno ti prepara al fatto che un giorno dovrai scegliere la tua montatura di occhiali; elemento essenziale per capire l’effe che questo paio di lenti avrà sulla tua persona, sul tuo look, e sulla tua vita.

 

Così ho iniziato a guardarmi intorno, ho provato il taglio smussato ma sembravo una brutta copia del ‘Curioso caso di Benjamin Button’; allora ho provato una montatura più quadrata ma il Detective Conan non avrebbe sicuramente approvato che io copiassi il suo look; allora un taglio più obliquo, uno un po’ più smussato, uno con l’asticella al centro, ma…niente!

 

Centocinquanta miliardi di modelli dove la differenza tra gli uni e gli altri è evidente come la differenza tra E.T. e Gianni Morandi - ovviamente salutiamo Gianni Morandi che è sempre nei nostri cuori.

 

Millimetri. Si riduce tutto ad una questione di millimetri, che rendono la forma un po’ più ovale oppure un po’ più spigolosa, la tua faccia un po’ più carina o definitivamente orrenda.

 

Nel frattempo, i miei genitori cercavano invano di rifilarmi un paio qualunque. Insomma non volevano aspettare lì tutto il giorno, volevano anche un po’ tornare a casa. Addobbando una montatura chiaramente ripugnante con parole del tipo “ma no, ti sta bene! Ti incornicia il volto”. Ma che diavolo vuol dire ‘ti incornicia il volto’?! Cioè ma ma che diavolo significa?

 

Da questo ho capito che i miei genitori non potevano essermi minimamente di aiuto. Il mio era un compito difficile,arduo. Una prova a dir poco biblica. E così, venni improvvisamente chiamato, illuminato da una montatura bellissima, leggiadra, meravigliosa: tonda, leggermente ovale; forse l’unica montatura che riusciva a richiamarmi una leggera sensazione di..”eh eh eh però beh però”.

 

Finalmente avevo deciso. Questa montatura era un chiaro segno divino. Il Signore che dall’alto mi fissava dicendo “Richard! Quelli sono gli occhiali giusti per te. Comprali o dovrai sacrificare il tuo figlio primogenito”. E io: “no,no! Non portarmi via il mio povero Giorgio”.

 

E così li comprai. E da quel momento in poi, ho indossato solo questa montatura tipo molto rotonda, fashion e cool. Ed ora non mi resta far altro che sperare che nessuno venga la nota di uccidere la mia famiglia di maghi, o a spararmi mentre rientro a casa.

 

Voi avete gli occhiali? Se sì, come ce li avete? Come ha inciso la montatura dei vostri occhiali sulla vostra monotona vita? Fatemi sapere qui sotto con un commento in descrizione.

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